De Stress @ Work by Victoria Anderson
Stress has gotten a bad reputation.
Essential stress is necessary. It could be likened to an equal yet changing pull of two polar opposites, the energy that keeps ‘things’ together and maintains the balance. Everything we do creates stress of varying degrees, there is good stress and bad stress, and we are the judge of which is which for us. We choose the areas in which we can store or take on more stress, for some of us it will be mentally, others will be the emotions, some will store the excess in the body. The pertinent question in a world of constantly changing stress is ‘can I recognize when normal stress is becoming too much for me to handle well?’ Even if you can manage to keep your feet moving at the racey speed of society these days, it does not equate to being healthy or feeling happy. When you carry a burden around too long it begins to break down all of the systems and long term stress is debilitating.
We could look at stress as a red flag, the part of ourself that yells “hey, something is going wrong over here!” Of all the discomfort or dis-eases the body can experience, stress is the one ailment that something can usually be done for quickly to change the experience. The key is awareness of your real condition. When the red flags go up, pay attention to what may have triggered it. Let the body tell you its truth. How does the stress behave? Where is it headed to for storage? What is your response to it? Notice if you ignore or deny the symptoms of your systems. Become more aware of the habits of your mind, and emotions as well as your body. This sets up an honest relationship between the stressor, your body/mind and your ability to respond to the inner messages that guide you through. One example; as stress accumulates and sends a signal of pain into your neck, if you are aware of its movement you can relax your tightening jaws and drop the shoulders, let those next few breaths in a little easier and then allow your neck to stretch itself a bit. We can often observe our hands rubbing our eyes, temples, neck, or head as the stress is building, and those are the moments to notice where else is this affecting me and how will I respond in the next few moments. Mostly how we respond is habitual, and often unaware that we are making choices by our actions to care for or ignore our bodies signals.
First commitment is to myself – the better I feel ~ the better I function ~ the more I know myself ~ the better choices I make on my own behalf. When we are feeling strong, healthy, and happy we are better equipped to deal with everyday compounding stress. Caring well for ourselves is not a compromise for others such as family or job, quite the contrary really, when we are in a better personal place, everyone around us benefits.
No matter how many books one reads on the subject of self help, they all tell us the same thing – the answers are inside ourselves. Leading us to our inner qualities, like trust, love, and faith. They tell us we create our futures by the ways we think presently, so choose well on your own behalf, and it couldn’t hurt to find your happy thought, Peter Pan.
Becoming your own best friend – listening to and trusting your inner wisdom. Who better than you to befriend you? You are always available, right? Everywhere you go, there you are… Nobody else has access to all of you in every way, every second of every day/ year… No one knows precisely how you feel about virtually everything… or the reasons for every decision you’ve ever made…except you Besides, if you will not listen to yourself, who do you think will? It is a commitment to yourself to recognize that wisdom lives inside you and offers you guidance often. And it’s a testament to the incredible person you really are to start trusting the package you were given. Get honest with yourself – don’t waste another breath of your life pretending you do not know what is in your best interests.
I think most people are great at giving, and not as practiced or comfortable with receiving. Sometimes we give out of goodness or responsibility and sometimes our reasons aren’t quite as noble but are based on control we don’t want to let go of. Many of us take on an incredible load because we convince ourselves that others will not do the tasks as fast or as efficient as we do or at the very least they won’t do it the way we want it done. Giving without receiving sets up a pattern of behavior within us that has only one direction to offer - burnout. This creates an imbalance that we often do not recognize until the burden is so great our minds and hearts are crying for an answer. Giving & receiving need to be in balance, and the balance is always changing, but if you are a great giver who cannot remember the last time someone gave to you – then it’s time to practice receiving. Let your self fully have that next breath that is on its way in to you – receive it fully, now let it go. Receiving starts with the breath, but the practice starts to show up everywhere. Example; are you able to receive a compliment, instead of pushing it away or denying it? Can you accept an offer of help, simply saying thank you? Or do you hear yourself respond by saying ‘no thank you, I can do it’. How often you hear yourself say ‘thank you’ to another may be related to how often you are on the receiving end of this balance. The potent part of this exercise is realized in your getting very honest and willing to acknowledge you have needs.
Trust your senses, learn which of your senses is the quickest to gather data and send it back to you – some people assess everything mentally, for others the emotions speak first or loudest, some people have an innate knowing that tells them when things are true or not , much more than a gut feeling, but those should not be overlooked either. Gut feelings often tell us how we will feel following the choices being made. Nearly everyone is gifted with some degree of intuition, and the more you trust your inner self the stronger the intuitive relationship is. Just observe mothers with their children, and you will see intuition developing to an art form. Train yourself to listen to your own intuitive ways of knowing. Believe the body/mind will give you a ‘redflag/heads up’ if any part is under excessive stress and needs help.
Even if we cannot find the way to express it, or do not know how to get what we need, we still know when something is not right with us - that is step 1. Knowing that you know. Whether you know through experience, or feeling, the point is you will know, likely, before anyone else when your body is going out of balance and you will also know first when you are reaching your limit and it would be fruitful to ask for help. Whether the help you need is carrying in the groceries, finishing a project, or therapy does not matter. What makes a difference is whether or not you can: a. honor when your senses tell you that you need help and b. can actually allow another person to help you and lessen your burden. Shame, blame, guilt, embarassment, humiliation, silent taboos and unspoken dynamics have kept many people from getting much deserved and needed emotional or mental or medical help. We have nearly trained our instinctual connections out of us and replaced them with habitual patterning. But it is never too late to begin listening, learn about myself, loosen up a bit, laugh, and let go.
As adults we become our own primary caregiver. Find the courage (coeur - french ‘of the heart’) to care for yourself as you would care for another in your charge. I encourage anyone who knows they need the help of a professional to do so without delay. We know in our heart of hearts if talking to a friend is enough, or if our situation requires someone to hear us who can offer professional guidance.
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4 clues to your physical health
1. Pressure - (basically healthy tissue)
2. Pain - (out of balance)
3. Irritable Sensations – (desperately seeking attention)
4. Numbness - (it may not work well, but it no longer demands your attention)
This order of pressure, pain, irritable sensations and numbness is the order in which the body will respond from a healthy state to illness and store sensation. When any of your bodys systems is over stressed, it will give clear signals such as pain, followed by irritable sensations like tickle, tingle, itch and burn, and if we are still unable to respond to these promptings even after its greatest attempts then numb-ness becomes the experience. It is not all that quick, of course. When we do not respond to a signal of pain or sensations they will naturally grow in intensity. The body will always do its best to get attention through increasing signals of pain or worse before it chooses to shut down. Similarly, when a body part wakes up out of its numbness to move toward a healthier state it moves through the order in reverse Numbness to irritable sensations, pain, and finally pressure. Everyone has had the experience of sitting on your foot and it goes to sleep – point is you did not feel the foot when it was actually sleeping because it was numb, then you feel it as it wakes up coming through the irritable sensations of tingle or tickle, then to a moment of pain and before you know it back to the pressure you feel in a healthy foot.
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Strain – Counter-Strain – what is it?
For every strain, the body is looking for balance with a counter-strain. We can help it along by offering energy opposite activities. Yoga postures all operate under this description of strain, counterstrain. When you bend in any direction, lets say forward, the muscles of the front (face, neck, chest, abdominals, and front of legs) are all contracted, a sort of folding over each other is happening while in your back the muscles (neck, spine, back, legs, and feet) are all being expanded or lengthened. If you leaned back instead of forward, the opposite would happen – the spine and back muscles would be under compression from the contraction and the front of the body would be expanding. Expansion ~ Contraction is the nature of everything living, these 2 movements keep returning us to balance.
*The fastest way to return yourself to balance or an equal strain counter-strain is to breathe.*
Yes, the key to pulling it all into balance again is breathing
The most easily accessible natural strain counter-strain is the breath – a basic expansion + contraction.
A simple way to learn how to do this for your self is to notice how you have been sitting or standing and then consciously move so your body bends or folds the other way. The body actually does this naturally, and its not difficult to teach yourself to respond. If you need help however, try a Yoga class – it can make a huge difference in how you feel right away and you will learn a lot about your own specific strain-counter-strains. The best information will come from asking your body to show you… what you need…where it never reaches to…where it needs healing… and just listen and respond.
Strain-Counterstrain exercises
Eyes staring at a computer screen all day, precise or small work creates a strain on our vision. Nearly every ones eyes probably need a deep rest, as well as our brains which responds so intimately and trusting of the data coming in through the senses, especially the eyes.
Suggestion: try shutting the lids softly and observe the changes in your body as you relax the eye muscles.
More eyes - Palming we place our palms over the eyes, bringing the fingers in close to block out all light – eyes stay open looking into the dark field, breathe, blink them. Easiest if you lay flat on your back and place a pillow under each shoulder blade or arm for a comfortable support.
Even more for the eyes - Round the clock is an effective exercise to stretch the eye muscles and re-organize mind/body control – eyes closed, just relax them and soften first while you breathe and coax the rest of your body into softening as well, then just let the eyes drop downward (not the chin, just the eyes) and breathe – when they are ready to move allow your eyes to float over to the extreme left or right (whichever direction they naturally move toward) and the eye muscles stretch differently – relax the neck, jaws, and just allow the eyes to gently reach toward the edge of what they can see. Then looking upward (remember only with the eyes – you will feel your head pull wherever the eyes look, soften the neck. all around the clock you look and be sure you breath easily then just let the eyes circle one way and then reverse. Doesn’t have to be long. A minute or two can give you what you need.
Arms, joints, hands and neck stranded in a 1 or 2 foot space use little muscle but lock the joints into holding for long periods of time ~ the opposite exercise is to reach the arms in every direction gently, find your range of motion and breathe.
Legs – sitting forward in your chair, lift your right ankle and set it on your left thigh – knee out to the side and naturally heavy, spend a minute letting all the associated muscles tendons and ligaments talk themselves into gently letting go, relax the ankle, knee and hip joints, then lift the left foot up a bit and down a few times to stretch deeper and relax the hip joint. Switch to do the other leg.
Feet - keep a tennis ball or hard small ball near the desk and roll your tired foot over the ball, sitting or standing will work, and just let it take a few minutes to work out the kinks in the feet. It will have a softening effect all the way through the back muscles. Don’t forget the other foot.
Scalding – excellent for pulling pain out of hands, fingers (or feet) ~ run water quite warm/hot, keep your hands (feet) under the running water, squeezing and stretching fingers (toes) and a little at a time increase the temp. of the hot water til very hot but tolerable, plug the sink (tub) so you can immerse up to the forearms (ankles). Drop your head forward, breathe, relax your face and feet let the excess energy run off your neck and shoulders down and out the hands as well as all the way down the body and out the feet. Keep the water hot as long as you feel pain in the digits.
Stillpoint – is the counter-strain for all activity – you will find this experience of stillness in meditation, or at the end of every breath, and hopefully in sleep. It is in the moments when you feel weightless and peaceful beyond description. In still point, the body, mind, emotions, and spirit all seem to agree that quiet is the thing to do and we come out of the experience usually feeling more like ourselves, more whole.
What can I change instantly?
Breathe ~ soften inside your body
Recognize this stress’ grip on you ~ soften
Breathe ~ stillpoint
Offer the counter-strain for the strain you have been occupied with
Put in earplugs
Change my mind - prioritize while letting go of things which are unimportant or uncontrollable ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well known stress reducers
– Breathe – it cannot be said too much – Breathe.
- Massage – massage is deeply therapeutic, and healing. It relaxes, renews, stretches, compresses and otherwise wakes up your muscular body. Good bodywork can make a difference in how we are feeling, how strong we are, and how we relate to everyday + compounding stress. That is when we realize it is not a luxury item but a necessity.
- Self massage – nobody else has access to so much of you every second of every day/ year… easy to learn – have a body part and a hand or two start rubbing – there is no wrong way to do it, be gentle if it hurts, your body and hands will seem to know when more pressure is needed. Today explore your neck, tomorrow the calves, next could be the ears, or jaws, knees, or abdomen… let yourself be drawn into discovering your hands know where your body needs attention. The shower is a good place to start this practice since all the body is uncovered here, choose a part and trust your hands.
– Sleep - a sleeping body functions more according to its natural settings. While most organs, muscles, the waking mind, and emotions have a little down time, the tissue repairs, stress drops (you cannot overdo anything in sleep) and the systems regulate themselves. Rituals like brushing teeth, hair, bath, pajamas, herbal teas to calm, slows the mind and body and gives us a chance to switch gears before falling into bed.
- Good Food – food is one of the great joys in life. I suggest that you eat what you truly Love – Love goes a long way in soothing us. There is every type of diet out there, most of us don’t like following them, so I suggest to people to add good foods first and a little at a time remove those that you know are not so good for you. Food that has little nutritional value stresses our systems because we don’t have a good fuel to operate on, but it also quickly wears us down until we simply are not strong, and we may not know it.
It is an assault to the psyche to take away what it perceives as nourishment, so be gentle with yourself.
- Laughter – breaks up patterns, releases a lot of tension quick, uses a lot of muscle, is good for the breathing, and the attitude. Sometimes we laugh when nervous, or embarrassed, caught off guard, afraid. We also laugh when anything occurs for us mildly humorous to uncontrollably holding our sides rolled up kind of funny. Laughter flows up and over and always helps change what is happening and break us through to a lighter place. It is good medicine.
- Exercise – blows out the excess stress, making us sweat out toxins through the skin, strengthens, gets us in touch with the body and its true condition, and increases breathing capacity. That’s just for starters! There are about a thousand ways to exercise, basically it just means move, enough to raise the heart rate and challenge the body. If you have never exercised before or it has been along time start slow, don’t let your mind get ahead of your body, train it to take a back seat and watch the body. The mind likes to be in control, so give it something to do – OBSERVE – let it take notes for you – but while exercising, this is where the body is in control It knows what you can and cannot do and it will always do its best. Choose your exercise (s) well. Walking, Yoga, Swimming, Water Aerobics, Strength Training, Dance – these are all easy on the body. If you are inclined to play harder you will find endless exercise opportunities. Trust and respect the limits your limbs and spine will show you. Trust your breath will always tell your true condition, growing difficult if you are trying too hard or doing too much, and becoming more comfortable and calm as you do. Trust your current ranges of motion, not pushing, but allowing. Trust your body wants to be healthy. Don’t push to be better or perfect, go for natural, have a good time and your body is far more likely to want to keep exercising.
Lesser known ‘wonderful’ stress eliminators
- Learn to say no – when it is the best choice. Many of us forgot how to say ‘no’ simply and effectively and now only say it when we are feeling angry, or defensive and have to say it out of necessity. You may find it takes practice to say that little word and not feel bad. If so, then find your spark of courage and let a small 2 letter word help you to set healthy boundaries and free up some of your time.
- Sound - Put in earplugs – changing the volume at which the world effects you can momentarily give you some inner quiet. You can still hear with earplugs, but you find you choose to hear certain sounds and are happy, and conversely there are sounds you would prefer not have going all the time because they disturb you. The hummm of bad lighting or the computer, highway sound, people argueing,
- Turn off the lights – if you don’t need them turn off the lights. The eyes will appreciate this immediately. If you aren’t using the computer screen for any period of time, turn off the monitor. We are sensitive to light, maybe even more so than sound. If natural light can be used efficiently, do so. And appropriately in areas where additional light is required take the time to get the right lighting for the job. This is not an area to be straining for 8 hrs a day.
- Strain-Counterstrain – see below
- a 7 minute fast walk or slow jog around the block or building to blow off some steam quickly
- and a 3 minute freeform stretch break to unwind muscular strain.
- Singing – in the shower, car, wherever you feel comfortable to sing a tune has a healthy effect on the body/mind – a bit of an internal massage vibrating all over. People sing songs and hum the music they love… and in my experience, love makes every load a bit lighter.
- Corpse Pose – spine laying flat in corpse pose, no pillows, eyes closed, arms resting by the side, palms face upward, breathe deeper, slower, find the natural moment of rest at the top of the breath, and let out the breathe - no control – down to its bottom and another natural stillpoint where the body rests instead of breathes. Over and over, 5 full minutes of breathing – in naturally, and out naturally –each breath a bit more comfortable than the one before.
- Sex – wakes up all the sensory apparatus, including making us breathe deeper, it keeps the bodies juices flowing and puts us in touch with our feelings, physical body, and often uses the body in ways that no daily activity moves or stretches us.
- Orgasm – like an internal explosion, much stress leaves on this wave. A lot like sneezing, it makes every muscle of your body contract.
- Frequent cleanses – Baths, Showers, Steam room, Sauna, and foods that eliminate well will cleanse the body nicely like black rice, fruit, especially watermelon, raw vegetables.
- Short fasts – every once in a while you will notice you simply are not hungry, and following this natural pattern is easier than deciding not to eat anything on Monday. This occurs cyclically, as do other cycles like menstruating. When the body decides to do a short fast it usually lasts about 24 hours and you find yourself normally hungry the next day. The body was designed to be an impeccable machine, but even your machinery works better when it is given a little rest now and again.
- Structural Re-alignment – When your skeleton is aligned properly it feels good to be in your body and when its not it feels like wearing the wrong size suit or having it on crooked. All bodily functions work better when aligned and if your supporting structure is needing help, it is foundational to your future health. Find a good Yoga class (lots of self re-alignment takes place here), a great Chiropractor, or Osteopath, or Cranio-Sacral practitioner can get the deeper work done.
Stress has gotten a bad reputation.
Essential stress is necessary. It could be likened to an equal yet changing pull of two polar opposites, the energy that keeps ‘things’ together and maintains the balance. Everything we do creates stress of varying degrees, there is good stress and bad stress, and we are the judge of which is which for us. We choose the areas in which we can store or take on more stress, for some of us it will be mentally, others will be the emotions, some will store the excess in the body. The pertinent question in a world of constantly changing stress is ‘can I recognize when normal stress is becoming too much for me to handle well?’ Even if you can manage to keep your feet moving at the racey speed of society these days, it does not equate to being healthy or feeling happy. When you carry a burden around too long it begins to break down all of the systems and long term stress is debilitating.
We could look at stress as a red flag, the part of ourself that yells “hey, something is going wrong over here!” Of all the discomfort or dis-eases the body can experience, stress is the one ailment that something can usually be done for quickly to change the experience. The key is awareness of your real condition. When the red flags go up, pay attention to what may have triggered it. Let the body tell you its truth. How does the stress behave? Where is it headed to for storage? What is your response to it? Notice if you ignore or deny the symptoms of your systems. Become more aware of the habits of your mind, and emotions as well as your body. This sets up an honest relationship between the stressor, your body/mind and your ability to respond to the inner messages that guide you through. One example; as stress accumulates and sends a signal of pain into your neck, if you are aware of its movement you can relax your tightening jaws and drop the shoulders, let those next few breaths in a little easier and then allow your neck to stretch itself a bit. We can often observe our hands rubbing our eyes, temples, neck, or head as the stress is building, and those are the moments to notice where else is this affecting me and how will I respond in the next few moments. Mostly how we respond is habitual, and often unaware that we are making choices by our actions to care for or ignore our bodies signals.
First commitment is to myself – the better I feel ~ the better I function ~ the more I know myself ~ the better choices I make on my own behalf. When we are feeling strong, healthy, and happy we are better equipped to deal with everyday compounding stress. Caring well for ourselves is not a compromise for others such as family or job, quite the contrary really, when we are in a better personal place, everyone around us benefits.
No matter how many books one reads on the subject of self help, they all tell us the same thing – the answers are inside ourselves. Leading us to our inner qualities, like trust, love, and faith. They tell us we create our futures by the ways we think presently, so choose well on your own behalf, and it couldn’t hurt to find your happy thought, Peter Pan.
Becoming your own best friend – listening to and trusting your inner wisdom. Who better than you to befriend you? You are always available, right? Everywhere you go, there you are… Nobody else has access to all of you in every way, every second of every day/ year… No one knows precisely how you feel about virtually everything… or the reasons for every decision you’ve ever made…except you Besides, if you will not listen to yourself, who do you think will? It is a commitment to yourself to recognize that wisdom lives inside you and offers you guidance often. And it’s a testament to the incredible person you really are to start trusting the package you were given. Get honest with yourself – don’t waste another breath of your life pretending you do not know what is in your best interests.
I think most people are great at giving, and not as practiced or comfortable with receiving. Sometimes we give out of goodness or responsibility and sometimes our reasons aren’t quite as noble but are based on control we don’t want to let go of. Many of us take on an incredible load because we convince ourselves that others will not do the tasks as fast or as efficient as we do or at the very least they won’t do it the way we want it done. Giving without receiving sets up a pattern of behavior within us that has only one direction to offer - burnout. This creates an imbalance that we often do not recognize until the burden is so great our minds and hearts are crying for an answer. Giving & receiving need to be in balance, and the balance is always changing, but if you are a great giver who cannot remember the last time someone gave to you – then it’s time to practice receiving. Let your self fully have that next breath that is on its way in to you – receive it fully, now let it go. Receiving starts with the breath, but the practice starts to show up everywhere. Example; are you able to receive a compliment, instead of pushing it away or denying it? Can you accept an offer of help, simply saying thank you? Or do you hear yourself respond by saying ‘no thank you, I can do it’. How often you hear yourself say ‘thank you’ to another may be related to how often you are on the receiving end of this balance. The potent part of this exercise is realized in your getting very honest and willing to acknowledge you have needs.
Trust your senses, learn which of your senses is the quickest to gather data and send it back to you – some people assess everything mentally, for others the emotions speak first or loudest, some people have an innate knowing that tells them when things are true or not , much more than a gut feeling, but those should not be overlooked either. Gut feelings often tell us how we will feel following the choices being made. Nearly everyone is gifted with some degree of intuition, and the more you trust your inner self the stronger the intuitive relationship is. Just observe mothers with their children, and you will see intuition developing to an art form. Train yourself to listen to your own intuitive ways of knowing. Believe the body/mind will give you a ‘redflag/heads up’ if any part is under excessive stress and needs help.
Even if we cannot find the way to express it, or do not know how to get what we need, we still know when something is not right with us - that is step 1. Knowing that you know. Whether you know through experience, or feeling, the point is you will know, likely, before anyone else when your body is going out of balance and you will also know first when you are reaching your limit and it would be fruitful to ask for help. Whether the help you need is carrying in the groceries, finishing a project, or therapy does not matter. What makes a difference is whether or not you can: a. honor when your senses tell you that you need help and b. can actually allow another person to help you and lessen your burden. Shame, blame, guilt, embarassment, humiliation, silent taboos and unspoken dynamics have kept many people from getting much deserved and needed emotional or mental or medical help. We have nearly trained our instinctual connections out of us and replaced them with habitual patterning. But it is never too late to begin listening, learn about myself, loosen up a bit, laugh, and let go.
As adults we become our own primary caregiver. Find the courage (coeur - french ‘of the heart’) to care for yourself as you would care for another in your charge. I encourage anyone who knows they need the help of a professional to do so without delay. We know in our heart of hearts if talking to a friend is enough, or if our situation requires someone to hear us who can offer professional guidance.
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4 clues to your physical health
1. Pressure - (basically healthy tissue)
2. Pain - (out of balance)
3. Irritable Sensations – (desperately seeking attention)
4. Numbness - (it may not work well, but it no longer demands your attention)
This order of pressure, pain, irritable sensations and numbness is the order in which the body will respond from a healthy state to illness and store sensation. When any of your bodys systems is over stressed, it will give clear signals such as pain, followed by irritable sensations like tickle, tingle, itch and burn, and if we are still unable to respond to these promptings even after its greatest attempts then numb-ness becomes the experience. It is not all that quick, of course. When we do not respond to a signal of pain or sensations they will naturally grow in intensity. The body will always do its best to get attention through increasing signals of pain or worse before it chooses to shut down. Similarly, when a body part wakes up out of its numbness to move toward a healthier state it moves through the order in reverse Numbness to irritable sensations, pain, and finally pressure. Everyone has had the experience of sitting on your foot and it goes to sleep – point is you did not feel the foot when it was actually sleeping because it was numb, then you feel it as it wakes up coming through the irritable sensations of tingle or tickle, then to a moment of pain and before you know it back to the pressure you feel in a healthy foot.
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Strain – Counter-Strain – what is it?
For every strain, the body is looking for balance with a counter-strain. We can help it along by offering energy opposite activities. Yoga postures all operate under this description of strain, counterstrain. When you bend in any direction, lets say forward, the muscles of the front (face, neck, chest, abdominals, and front of legs) are all contracted, a sort of folding over each other is happening while in your back the muscles (neck, spine, back, legs, and feet) are all being expanded or lengthened. If you leaned back instead of forward, the opposite would happen – the spine and back muscles would be under compression from the contraction and the front of the body would be expanding. Expansion ~ Contraction is the nature of everything living, these 2 movements keep returning us to balance.
*The fastest way to return yourself to balance or an equal strain counter-strain is to breathe.*
Yes, the key to pulling it all into balance again is breathing
The most easily accessible natural strain counter-strain is the breath – a basic expansion + contraction.
A simple way to learn how to do this for your self is to notice how you have been sitting or standing and then consciously move so your body bends or folds the other way. The body actually does this naturally, and its not difficult to teach yourself to respond. If you need help however, try a Yoga class – it can make a huge difference in how you feel right away and you will learn a lot about your own specific strain-counter-strains. The best information will come from asking your body to show you… what you need…where it never reaches to…where it needs healing… and just listen and respond.
Strain-Counterstrain exercises
Eyes staring at a computer screen all day, precise or small work creates a strain on our vision. Nearly every ones eyes probably need a deep rest, as well as our brains which responds so intimately and trusting of the data coming in through the senses, especially the eyes.
Suggestion: try shutting the lids softly and observe the changes in your body as you relax the eye muscles.
More eyes - Palming we place our palms over the eyes, bringing the fingers in close to block out all light – eyes stay open looking into the dark field, breathe, blink them. Easiest if you lay flat on your back and place a pillow under each shoulder blade or arm for a comfortable support.
Even more for the eyes - Round the clock is an effective exercise to stretch the eye muscles and re-organize mind/body control – eyes closed, just relax them and soften first while you breathe and coax the rest of your body into softening as well, then just let the eyes drop downward (not the chin, just the eyes) and breathe – when they are ready to move allow your eyes to float over to the extreme left or right (whichever direction they naturally move toward) and the eye muscles stretch differently – relax the neck, jaws, and just allow the eyes to gently reach toward the edge of what they can see. Then looking upward (remember only with the eyes – you will feel your head pull wherever the eyes look, soften the neck. all around the clock you look and be sure you breath easily then just let the eyes circle one way and then reverse. Doesn’t have to be long. A minute or two can give you what you need.
Arms, joints, hands and neck stranded in a 1 or 2 foot space use little muscle but lock the joints into holding for long periods of time ~ the opposite exercise is to reach the arms in every direction gently, find your range of motion and breathe.
Legs – sitting forward in your chair, lift your right ankle and set it on your left thigh – knee out to the side and naturally heavy, spend a minute letting all the associated muscles tendons and ligaments talk themselves into gently letting go, relax the ankle, knee and hip joints, then lift the left foot up a bit and down a few times to stretch deeper and relax the hip joint. Switch to do the other leg.
Feet - keep a tennis ball or hard small ball near the desk and roll your tired foot over the ball, sitting or standing will work, and just let it take a few minutes to work out the kinks in the feet. It will have a softening effect all the way through the back muscles. Don’t forget the other foot.
Scalding – excellent for pulling pain out of hands, fingers (or feet) ~ run water quite warm/hot, keep your hands (feet) under the running water, squeezing and stretching fingers (toes) and a little at a time increase the temp. of the hot water til very hot but tolerable, plug the sink (tub) so you can immerse up to the forearms (ankles). Drop your head forward, breathe, relax your face and feet let the excess energy run off your neck and shoulders down and out the hands as well as all the way down the body and out the feet. Keep the water hot as long as you feel pain in the digits.
Stillpoint – is the counter-strain for all activity – you will find this experience of stillness in meditation, or at the end of every breath, and hopefully in sleep. It is in the moments when you feel weightless and peaceful beyond description. In still point, the body, mind, emotions, and spirit all seem to agree that quiet is the thing to do and we come out of the experience usually feeling more like ourselves, more whole.
What can I change instantly?
Breathe ~ soften inside your body
Recognize this stress’ grip on you ~ soften
Breathe ~ stillpoint
Offer the counter-strain for the strain you have been occupied with
Put in earplugs
Change my mind - prioritize while letting go of things which are unimportant or uncontrollable ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well known stress reducers
– Breathe – it cannot be said too much – Breathe.
- Massage – massage is deeply therapeutic, and healing. It relaxes, renews, stretches, compresses and otherwise wakes up your muscular body. Good bodywork can make a difference in how we are feeling, how strong we are, and how we relate to everyday + compounding stress. That is when we realize it is not a luxury item but a necessity.
- Self massage – nobody else has access to so much of you every second of every day/ year… easy to learn – have a body part and a hand or two start rubbing – there is no wrong way to do it, be gentle if it hurts, your body and hands will seem to know when more pressure is needed. Today explore your neck, tomorrow the calves, next could be the ears, or jaws, knees, or abdomen… let yourself be drawn into discovering your hands know where your body needs attention. The shower is a good place to start this practice since all the body is uncovered here, choose a part and trust your hands.
– Sleep - a sleeping body functions more according to its natural settings. While most organs, muscles, the waking mind, and emotions have a little down time, the tissue repairs, stress drops (you cannot overdo anything in sleep) and the systems regulate themselves. Rituals like brushing teeth, hair, bath, pajamas, herbal teas to calm, slows the mind and body and gives us a chance to switch gears before falling into bed.
- Good Food – food is one of the great joys in life. I suggest that you eat what you truly Love – Love goes a long way in soothing us. There is every type of diet out there, most of us don’t like following them, so I suggest to people to add good foods first and a little at a time remove those that you know are not so good for you. Food that has little nutritional value stresses our systems because we don’t have a good fuel to operate on, but it also quickly wears us down until we simply are not strong, and we may not know it.
It is an assault to the psyche to take away what it perceives as nourishment, so be gentle with yourself.
- Laughter – breaks up patterns, releases a lot of tension quick, uses a lot of muscle, is good for the breathing, and the attitude. Sometimes we laugh when nervous, or embarrassed, caught off guard, afraid. We also laugh when anything occurs for us mildly humorous to uncontrollably holding our sides rolled up kind of funny. Laughter flows up and over and always helps change what is happening and break us through to a lighter place. It is good medicine.
- Exercise – blows out the excess stress, making us sweat out toxins through the skin, strengthens, gets us in touch with the body and its true condition, and increases breathing capacity. That’s just for starters! There are about a thousand ways to exercise, basically it just means move, enough to raise the heart rate and challenge the body. If you have never exercised before or it has been along time start slow, don’t let your mind get ahead of your body, train it to take a back seat and watch the body. The mind likes to be in control, so give it something to do – OBSERVE – let it take notes for you – but while exercising, this is where the body is in control It knows what you can and cannot do and it will always do its best. Choose your exercise (s) well. Walking, Yoga, Swimming, Water Aerobics, Strength Training, Dance – these are all easy on the body. If you are inclined to play harder you will find endless exercise opportunities. Trust and respect the limits your limbs and spine will show you. Trust your breath will always tell your true condition, growing difficult if you are trying too hard or doing too much, and becoming more comfortable and calm as you do. Trust your current ranges of motion, not pushing, but allowing. Trust your body wants to be healthy. Don’t push to be better or perfect, go for natural, have a good time and your body is far more likely to want to keep exercising.
Lesser known ‘wonderful’ stress eliminators
- Learn to say no – when it is the best choice. Many of us forgot how to say ‘no’ simply and effectively and now only say it when we are feeling angry, or defensive and have to say it out of necessity. You may find it takes practice to say that little word and not feel bad. If so, then find your spark of courage and let a small 2 letter word help you to set healthy boundaries and free up some of your time.
- Sound - Put in earplugs – changing the volume at which the world effects you can momentarily give you some inner quiet. You can still hear with earplugs, but you find you choose to hear certain sounds and are happy, and conversely there are sounds you would prefer not have going all the time because they disturb you. The hummm of bad lighting or the computer, highway sound, people argueing,
- Turn off the lights – if you don’t need them turn off the lights. The eyes will appreciate this immediately. If you aren’t using the computer screen for any period of time, turn off the monitor. We are sensitive to light, maybe even more so than sound. If natural light can be used efficiently, do so. And appropriately in areas where additional light is required take the time to get the right lighting for the job. This is not an area to be straining for 8 hrs a day.
- Strain-Counterstrain – see below
- a 7 minute fast walk or slow jog around the block or building to blow off some steam quickly
- and a 3 minute freeform stretch break to unwind muscular strain.
- Singing – in the shower, car, wherever you feel comfortable to sing a tune has a healthy effect on the body/mind – a bit of an internal massage vibrating all over. People sing songs and hum the music they love… and in my experience, love makes every load a bit lighter.
- Corpse Pose – spine laying flat in corpse pose, no pillows, eyes closed, arms resting by the side, palms face upward, breathe deeper, slower, find the natural moment of rest at the top of the breath, and let out the breathe - no control – down to its bottom and another natural stillpoint where the body rests instead of breathes. Over and over, 5 full minutes of breathing – in naturally, and out naturally –each breath a bit more comfortable than the one before.
- Sex – wakes up all the sensory apparatus, including making us breathe deeper, it keeps the bodies juices flowing and puts us in touch with our feelings, physical body, and often uses the body in ways that no daily activity moves or stretches us.
- Orgasm – like an internal explosion, much stress leaves on this wave. A lot like sneezing, it makes every muscle of your body contract.
- Frequent cleanses – Baths, Showers, Steam room, Sauna, and foods that eliminate well will cleanse the body nicely like black rice, fruit, especially watermelon, raw vegetables.
- Short fasts – every once in a while you will notice you simply are not hungry, and following this natural pattern is easier than deciding not to eat anything on Monday. This occurs cyclically, as do other cycles like menstruating. When the body decides to do a short fast it usually lasts about 24 hours and you find yourself normally hungry the next day. The body was designed to be an impeccable machine, but even your machinery works better when it is given a little rest now and again.
- Structural Re-alignment – When your skeleton is aligned properly it feels good to be in your body and when its not it feels like wearing the wrong size suit or having it on crooked. All bodily functions work better when aligned and if your supporting structure is needing help, it is foundational to your future health. Find a good Yoga class (lots of self re-alignment takes place here), a great Chiropractor, or Osteopath, or Cranio-Sacral practitioner can get the deeper work done.
